I have to laugh at myself right now! And, I’m absolutely certain there are people around me laughing at me, too.
I’ve been quite overwhelmed the past few weeks. And, while there is much more to my story that we haven’t gotten to yet, I just need to share about my last 48 hours.
Yesterday, I got on a plane for an interview for another new position. And, while I am very excited about the opportunity, I’m truly a nervous wreck – let’s say – I’m a HOT MESS!! And, while I know that it is all in God’s hands, based on my last post, I also know that I needed to plan.
What would I say? How would I say it? How could I convey my value? So many thoughts… So many doubts… So many questions…
There was something amazing about this interview, though. While I was a nervous, sweaty, HOT MESS… I was able to pray myself through it. When I messed up (and did I ever mess up!), I was able to make a joke about it and show the true me in the interview. And, it was only through God’s grace that I was able to get through it.
After the interview, I contacted a colleague that I hoped would one day also be a true friend. I think the world of her! She is amazing, talented, confident, worldly… So, I sent her a message, ran down to her office and got her to commit to a dinner – or at least a drink. Yeah!!
So, off we went to this cute little roof top bar for a glass of wine and connecting. Little did I know that God was making sure that the two of us connected that day. Here’s why… My “now friend” is going through her own journey with infertility. And, without us connecting, I would have never known about it. And, because of this blog, I’ve gotten much more comfortable sharing my story and sharing that only by God’s grace and love was I able to get up some of the early days. We sat there for hours talking about our journeys and where we both were. I truly thank God for His Hand in helping me to talk with others. I hope that our conversation helped her to know that she is not alone. Not because of me, but because God is with her and her husband. God will help them through this. He has a plan for us that is beyond our wildest dreams. That is often hard to see when we jump on this roller coaster.
So, you may ask – Why am I laughing at myself right now???
Well, I got back to the airport this morning feeling GREAT!!! Interview over, great connection with a new friend, shared the Word of God in a way that was accepting and not “judgy”, heading home to see my husband and babies..OVERWHELMINGLY HAPPY! So, what do I do when I am happy you might ask?
I JAM OUT TO CHRISTIAN ROCK!!! And, when I say I JAM – I mean I JAM!!!! Head bopping, lips moving, sometimes words sneak out (hopefully not as loud as it seems in my head), smiling, feeling full! Truly losing myself in the moment…in the Word!
As I sat at the gate, I was listening to some new downloads and I LOVE THEM!!! I was so lost in the music that I almost missed boarding the plane. I was fully immersed in God’s Word.
When I get on the plane, it’s pretty empty. After listening to a new song about five (5) times (yes, I kept replaying it!), I looked over at the gentleman sitting across the aisle from me. He was staring at me with a smile from ear to ear. I’m sure it took everything for him to not laugh when he saw me. I was really JAMMING!! And, I don’t care. I am so grateful for today, for every day!
In case you were wondering, I was jamming to Sidewalk Prophets – Live Like That! Truly AWESOME song! Thanks so much for sharing your gift with the world!
So, I’ll close today with this… The more difficult the time, the more we need to lift our head up to God and ask for His guidance. He is always with us, we just don’t always remember to ask…until we are at the end of our rope. But, please know, He is always there. ALWAYS! What I love about this blog is that I am starting to remember to ALWAYS look up. In all things – good and bad – to go to Him first. For Thanks, For Guidance, For Strength, and For Love. And, I can love Him with the love of a child – with reckless abandon – including jamming out at an airport.