So, as many going through fertility issues can likely relate, after so many No’s, you might not want to experience this together. And, as the wife, I had to be the one to pee on the stick, so I had to be a part of it. But, my husband didn’t.
For the past three months, I was still buying tests and peeing on sticks, but I wasn’t bothering him with the process. He would know, soon enough, that we weren’t expecting as I would ask him to run by the pharmacy and pick up my “monthly supplies.” That seemed to be enough for him. Less drama.
So, I’m in my bathroom, waiting for the test, truly understanding the saying that “A watched pot never boils” because that was really a long few minutes.
Waiting… Waiting… Waiting…
And then, my cell phone rang. I looked down to see that it was my husband.
And then, the test produced a result…
Where’s the NOT? It usually says NOT. What does this mean? Why am I alone?
Oh wait, I’m not alone. Pick up the phone!!!
When I answered the phone, I was already crying. I think it took under 1 second for all of that to happen, and I was sobbing crying. Of course, my husband didn’t know why I was crying. He was calling to see how my Yoga class was, what the plans were for the night, and would I mind if he went and shot a round of golf.
He asked, “Why are you crying? Did something happen? Talk to me? I can’t understand you.”
In a shaky voice and through sobbing tears I replied, “I’m pregnant. We’re pregnant. We’re going to have a baby.”
There was silence, for what felt like an hour, although it was probably only seconds. And then, my husband who always has the right words, at the right time said,
“So, was that a ‘No’ to the golf?”?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
While he says he was kidding, I don’t think he was. And, while I had hoped, after all this time of trying, that I could have told him in a much for fun and exciting way. It was perfect.
What I missed for a very long time is that God made sure that he was there when I saw the test. While he wasn’t there in person; he was there, on the phone, getting the full reaction.
He came straight home and we looked at the test for a while. Then, he asked if I should take another one.
If you are taking an early pregnancy test because you “feel” like you might be pregnant, please look at the box and the instructions so you don’t go through what we went through.
I said – sure, let’s take another one. That will be fun…or, so I thought.
Since we were a few days early, and I had just taken one test about 20 minutes before. So, when I took the second test, I saw
What??? Why is this happening??? We were so happy! Does this mean we aren’t pregnant? Which on is right, which one is wrong?? Get me that BOX!!!!
Then, I read the instructions. From what I remember, it said something like…
If you are taking this test prior to the expected start of your cycle, take first of the morning, if possible. If not, wait at least four hours.
I had waited about 30 minutes. So, I trusted the first test. But, I went to the pharmacy and bought another box of three more tests, just to be sure…
As you can see, I still wasn’t 100% on the path. I knew that God wanted me to put all of my trust in Him. And, while I did trust Him, I still held on. I didn’t give over 100% control. I still felt like I needed to keep some of it. But that is not what the Lord asks us to do. It’s not what He wants us to do.
Jeremiah 17:7-8 (GNB): “But I will bless those who put their trust in me. They are like trees growing near a stream and sending out roots to the water. They are not afraid when hot weather comes, because their leaves stay green; they have no worries when there is no rain; they keep bearing fruit.”
He wants all of us. 100% of us. Not just us in church or in school or during prayer. I guess I hadn’t figured that part out yet.