What an amazing few days! Last week, our biggest buddy started Kindergarten, and he started soccer (3v3 Soccer for Under 6 year olds, but still organized sports), and he starts CCD in a few weeks.
So, this got me thinking. Our oldest child now has several parts of his life that do not fully involve us. After we get him on the bus in the morning, he is off to school by himself. On his 2nd day of school, he told his dad that he wanted to learn how to buy his lunch!?!?!
They have a pin # they put into a keypad that deducts money out of a pre-paid account – how techy these kids are these days!?!?! What happened to a good old fashioned envelope with cold, hard cash?? Better yet – what happened to truly brown bagging it with a PB&J and a juice box??) Oh, but I digress.
So, he gets on the bus, goes through the first half of school, buys his lunch, goes back to classes until “structured play” (they can’t call it recess anymore either?!?!), and then his daddy picks him up. Some days, he is home for only a few moments to do homework (coloring or cutting, but still), eat a quick dinner, and then off to soccer practice. Back home with us for a little while for a bath and bed.
And, when I do get moments with him to talk about his day, I want to know about each every part. Every detail.
- How was the bus ride to school?
- Who did he sit with?
- What did he learn today?
- What did he eat for lunch?
- Did he like it?
- Who did he sit by at lunch?
- Who did he play with during “structured play”?
- How was soccer?
- What did they learn?
- How did he do?
- What does he want to wear to school tomorrow?
- Does he want us to make his lunch or does he want to buy it?
And there are probably 1,000,000 more questions I have!!!
So, why did I run you through his entire day and then all the questions I have? Well, because it got me thinking…
As a parent, I want to be there through EVERY PART of his day. I want to know all about it. And, I want him to WANT to come home and share EVERY DETAIL with me.
Is that how God feels about me? I mean, He is our Heavenly Father, right? So, it’s not that far-fetched to think that He would feel the same, right?
And, yes, I know it is different because He does know each and every minute detail of each and every day for each and every one of us. Seriously, He is AMAZING!!
All that said, just like I am sad when my little guy doesn’t want to share everything with me, I wonder if I make God sad when I don’t share everything with Him. And, just like I love to see the look in our son’s eyes when he knows how proud we are of him, I wonder what else I can do to help make God more proud of me.
- Are there parts of my day that I don’t share with Him?
- When He is an after-thought?
- Or, when He isn’t even part of the thought?
- How many times should I go to Him for guidance, but instead, rest on my own choices?
Make bad decisions – and – pray for Him to clean it up… Are there times when I have the opportunity to share His name, His works, His grace, but I want to be the “cool kid” so I decide not to. Makes me think of times coming up when our little guy may not want to give me a hug or kiss or tell me he loves me in front of his friends. Kinda breaks my heart a little.
- So, am I breaking God’s heart?
- Not tearing it apart, but are there things I can do?
- How can I improve?
- How can I make God part of everything? Part of my work life, my home life, my family life?
- How can I help to remind myself to seek His guidance first, before resting on my own skills.
- And, when things go well, how can I remind myself to glorify God for the talents He has given me, and focus on Him versus focusing on me?
- I almost always remember to go to Him when things are bad; so how do I make myself go to Him first always??
Well, I don’t have an answer to any of that. It’s just been on my mind a great deal lately. So, I went to the Bible to look for verses to help me remind myself to always go to God first. Here are some versus I found:
John 3:16 (GNB): For God loved the world so much that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him may not die, but have eternal life.
Imagine how much we love our children in our worldly ability to love. What does that love look like when it’s a God-sized love? My brain can’t wrap itself around what that must feel like.
So, what does He call us to do?
Galatians 2:20 (GNB): so that it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me. This life that I live now, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave His life for me.
And, some of my favorites from Proverbs:
Proverbs 3:5-6 (GNB): Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know. Remember the Lord in everything you do, and He will show you the right way.
Proverbs 3:7 (GNB): Never let yourself think that you are wiser than you are; simply obey the Lord and refuse to do wrong.
As I write all of this, I’m also reminded of a newer song by Amy Grant titled “Don’t Try So Hard.” If you haven’t heard it, definitely worth a listen! It’s one of my favorites because in the chorus she sings…
“Don’t try so hard. God give you grace and you can’t earn it. Stop thinking you’re not worth it. Because you are. He gave you His love and He’s not leaving. He gave you His Son so you’d believe it. Your lovely even with your scars, so don’t try so hard.”
As I type those words, tears well up in my eyes. Because I am so proud of my children – for who the little people that they are – and I would never want them to feel that they needed to work that hard for my love. I love them NO MATTER WHAT! And, there is NOTHING that they could do to “earn” my love. It is theirs. I give it freely. And, I hope I show them each and every day how amazingly blessed I feel to have the privilege of being their mom.
With all of that, I know that God is proud of me, not because of what I do, rather because I am His daughter. He made me. He has a plan for me.
But, just like a little boy who gets a good grade and runs home to show it to his dad to see the joy on his face, I want to do good works – not to get into Heaven because I know Jesus already paid that price for each of us (if we choose to receive it). Rather, I hope that when I go home, and I get to see His face, I hope I can see the joy that the works I have done on this Earth make Him proud, too.